Romance Recipe for the Yuletide Season – Feyisayo Olakanye

“Never lose your mind to a relationship. Else, you will lose yourself and the slope is ever too steep to crawl back to sanity.”

Love is a mysterious addictive desire. In fact, it is governed by the same part of the brain that controls addictions (drugs and habit). Love entails taming—like a pet—a fellow human of different passion, personality, nature and needs. In reality, perfect lovers do not exist naturally. Each is meant to groom the other into desired taste. This makes honesty and sacrifice the greatest requirements for a perfect home. Sacrifice means forsaking or streamlining personal pride, taste, needs, passion, philosophy and dream to accommodate the beloved’s ‘burden’ as an entity. Respect, patience and humility from the partner are the gains of this. Honesty entails holistic truth, as an ordered tool of peaceful co-existence among mortal humans and their God. Honesty fosters truthfulness and strengthens trust. In all, true love should bring sense of belonging, liberty, maturity, peace of mind, emancipation and personal development. Those are the heirs of love. When any is lacking in a relationship, it bodes ill. Mischief or non-preparedness should be suspected.

Love grows. While it can be subconscious (as in intimate friendship) or stimulated by lust, it can also be foolishly mistaken for infatuation. Obsession—loving to a fault—blindfolds. Love is a diligent and innovative god. It forgives, corrects, mends, nurtures, and imparts. Love is considerate, visionary, innovative, creative, and never desperate nor underrates. Love transcends love making, marriage, partnership, emotions and human necessities. The odious challenge of taming a fellow human, as dynamic as we are, is its beauty. This is why marriage is life’s most daunting task.

The following formulas are romance strategies for carving a true relationship:

  1. Beauty is of the act, mind and physique. Be sure he or she is right for you.
  2. Love perseveres and is shrewd. Even though human, you can groom her/him.
  3. Do not impress or expect to be. You’ll never see your faults both.
  4. Commitment differs from enslavement. Shine your eyes!
  5. Emancipation should be the priority shared, not finance. Two heads are better than one.
  6. Love is subject to the environment (culture, norms and self). Don’t be foolish or risk being an outcast.
  7. Love is never soppy. If it’s too true, then it is false. Beware!
  8. Be sure to be ready. Trials can dent personal image. No General wages war when indisposed.
  9. Be assured you are taking a risk. No human can be tamed and forever.
  10. Regrettably abused, sex is meant for marriage consummation. It could have earned you respect and saved your pride to remain chaste or abstain.
  11. While physique attracts, beauty is the good things about us. Be visionary!
  12. Age may be insignificant. It is however better if she is about 5 years younger. Then, Intelligence Quotient can be at the same level and respect will be natural.
  13. Not all that glitters is gold. Humans can be very deceptive. Be wise!
  14. Avoid being possessive. It helps to see each other as friends.
  15. Work on your social life. You can’t afford to be dumb in this age. It is the remedy to stagnancy.
  16. Be romantic. Deploy intrigues. You are not a kidnapper!
  17. Love has no exceptions: even the Devil who loathes humans loves his agents. Admit if you are in love and seek help.
  18. Do not rush into marriage. It would be suicidal to manage your spouse thereafter Subsequent marriages might also be marred. Be sure!
  19. Love supports, forgives, moulds, discerns, perseveres, perceives. Love is shrewd, sensitive, innovative and beautiful. Explore!

I have a simple task for you this yuletide season.

Ladies: Be realistic and less soppy. Start treating him like your son. He will be too shocked to disrespect or disregard your opinion henceforth. Seems like a plan

Guys: Take her to the scariest place you can think of (preferably your first date). You would be winning her entirety. Evil plan

On a final. I want to wish everyone Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance.


Feyisayo Olakanye is a print publisher and health reporter. A passionate writer and poet, he had a brief editorial stint with Best Solution Books, Olanipekun Publishers (Pupils’ Foundation) and Bohan Publishers. He currently writes in from Canada.


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