The female folks in this country seem weak, they live in fear and total submission to the will of the society. It hurts, no matter how well achieved a woman is in this society her ego is still being played down as one who does not matter. But surprisingly, the female folks failed to identify their major problem. More than 89% of women always have the idea that the man they are with is cheating on them and are always out to prove this, when the major problem is how the society has marred the image of women.
The woman’s obligation in the family cannot be overemphasize, from taking care of the family’s welfare, biological, psychological and emotional obligation as a wife or a mother all portrays the duties of a woman and still, the society still points an accusing finger at them and living the men to live all the glory. Like every male child, every female child also grew up having dreams of what they want to become and as they grow certain pressures put them in giving up these dreams position and instead of discouraging that, the society frustrates them into giving it all up without a try.
A lot of factors militate against a woman in the society, one of which is social sentiments. Even among female folks, they tend to spread the fear among one another and this does not help. If a woman with kids decides to further in her education and luckily supported by her husband, friends will have questions to ask on how she will cope with the school and the kids, husbands friends will influence his thoughts by telling him how the kids won’t have proper training because of their mother’s decision to become a better person and if the woman is not strong-willed as we know that emotionally and due to a sacrificial nature women tend to bend to pressure, such a woman might end up not going back to school because the idea of a woman doing so is totally out of context for how a woman should see things.
Another factor is the ethics and expected norms in the society. Suddenly, women are blamed for everything in the society from giving birth to family crisis to choice making. If a woman is raped, she is at fault, because they say she wore something indecent, if the marriage is broken they say she has no patience and it is her role to be patient, if she does not have kids on time, they say she is the one with the problem, if her husband or one of the kids dies they say she is a witch, if she does not have a male child they call her ‘mummy girls’. Women are now the laughing stock in the society and if any of them tries to beat the odds, they are easy to tag her promiscuous or fetish and the female folks have a way of not supporting each other against the society. Every woman plays against the image of a rebel. How does it happen when a woman lost her husband and they say it is a norm of a certain ethnic group to shave the woman’s hair, that she has to mourn for 40 days wearing all white or black, they make them sleep with their husband’s corpse some a night before the burial, some a week before the burial. Certain tradition goes as far as telling the woman to drink the water used in washing the dead corpse to prove she has no hand in his death. But what does a man get when his wife dies? What are the rights he is made to observe? Nothing. The same night the wife dies, they ask another woman to stay the night with him so he does not get lonely.
Some religion, even though obvious to us all as we know plays a vital role in damaging the ego of women in the society. Some religion says when a woman is in her menstrual period, she should not come to the place of worship, even if allowed in the place of worship, she is told to sit outside and when the period is over she is asked to do some cleansing rights to be pure again. A state where menstruating has become a crime, a thing regarded as contagious disease and should not be around fellow human beings. Some men don’t sleep in the same room with the wife during her period, some don’t even let her cook until the period is over. Such women feel this disdain every month played into every year of her life and the society is okay with it. If a man is observing the fasting exercise the wife is not allowed near him but if she is observing the exercise she has to cut it short to tend to the biological needs of her husband.
How unfair can the society get with women. Not once have we mentioned sexual immorality of men against their children or women in general or the much talked about domestic violence. Yet, women don’ see all these as the major infidelity against their existence, but are more concerned about the other woman their man is staring at in a party or on the road. Let us all have the understanding that certain things won’t change but most things bleeds for change.
God bless every Nigerian woman today.